Once upon a time there was a king called Beetroot. He was the king of a country without a name. One day he went to his own personal fair and gave all his rings to a fortune teller who later became famous for juggling those same rings, but that doesn’t matter. When he was in her tent he asked:

“Will I meet a pretty lady who will advertise my castle?” The fortune teller was mute so she passed him a piece of paper. This is what was on it:

Yes and no. You will meet a pretty lady and you will marry her. Three days after that a death threat will arrive in your mail. Happy now?

The king went back to his castle and the very next year he met a pretty lady and married her. Three days later he remembered about the fortune teller and began to panic.

“Stop the postman getting out of the post office!” cried the king. The guards ran to the post office but the postman had already gone out.

“Pull up the drawbridge and let in the sharks,” the king cried again. But the guards had forgotten to feed the sharks so they were all dead. The drawbridge had rusty hinges so it couldn’t close either. The postman had no trouble at all delivering the mail. The king’s wife was just ruffling through it.

“Invitation to a ball, late happy Halloween, even later happy Easter, death threat and a few bills.”

“Death threat? Whose death threat? Mine?” asked the king, white as paper.

“No, of course not. It’s my death threat. I’ve had millions of boyfriends and all of them are angry that I dumped them. The postman is just one of them.”

The king was surprised, to put it mildly, but later that day he went and asked the fortune teller why she hadn’t told him that the death threat was for his wife.

“I was afraid you would take the rings away if I said the truth,” she answered. So everyone lived happily ever after.